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i am supposed to be watching Matewon, and it is on in the background, but i can't concentrate, since dr. benson has spoiled me on intellectual conversations about racism, and i can no longer have the patience for the "what?...racism didn't end with slavery?" theme better suited for someone with an IQ like ___ ____, a girl whose name shall be spared but who, in my women and human rights class, said: "i just don't think racism or sexism are issues anymore." hey, thanks for contributing.

we talked about hegel's lord/servant theory today, WHICH WAS SO INTERESTING, and so satisfying to understand. i think its why most people look to those in more patriarchally rewarded categories, i.e. the closest thing resembling a white hetero abled affluent male, for support/approval/etc. i ALSO think it explains the whole peter pan effect in cinema.

also contributing to the peter pan effect--a theory i've recently constructed--is the fact that the white hetero abled affluent male has the most fascinating and engaging experience, primarily because he is unoppressed, and therefore, has more experiences, opportunities, and people open to him, which, if we're pursuing this idea that popular cinema is primarily constructed for profit and that escapism is the most entertaining/profitable, then it all falls into place perfectly. i mean, i did really enjoy the darjeeling limited.

on a completely unrelated note, i find it outrageously awkward to see pictures of a current love interest with their former flame. and by awkward i mean uncomfortable. which i guess is again just tribute to the ownership aspect of monogomous relationships. thats why i would like to one day engage in a nonmonogomous relationship, and see how i handle it. ultimately, i definitely couldnt, although its interesting to think about raising (a) kid(s) with multiple other people. fascinating, at least.

off to curl up with my sleepytime tea, tissues, and the strongest drug i can find within a six foot radius.

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